Contest

Find a name for this man

The contest is to take a guess this mans name only looking at his pic, unfortunately its not so clear for too much zooms usage but its the best I have at the moment. As soon as I know his real name (if it ever happens) Ill decide who wins the challenge and its reward, at the moment I invite you only to guess his name based only on his physical appearence...just for information, hes the fisherman

Troa un nome per questomo

Provae a indovinà il nome di questo ragazzo solo guardando la su foto tutta sfoata causa troppo zoom (ma io di meglio un posso fa con i mezzi a disposizione). I tentativi sie pregati di lascialli nei commenti, appena saprò (se mai succederà) il su vero nome decreterò un vincitore a cui andrà un premio logiamente di merda. Buon divertimento

My attempts and their probabilitys percentages: Alessandro 30% Emiliano 40% Jarle 90%

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Need 4 sleep

Writing these few lines between dream and reality (too bad my body took the bad habit of being completely awaken since 5:30 am in last mornings...Im already dead at 9 pm!). I got one certainity at least, the one I was really waiting for since....(how much? 6 months or more?) and now Im really excited for that great news but Ill talk about it when everythings already planned since its unuseful to say anything at this state of things but IM GLAD LIKE HELL AND I HOPE TO GET MORE AND MORE EXCITED AS TIME PASSES!
Apart these good news the rests normal life:

• a quarrel with an asshole I thought a friend (another fucking false one, oh yeah!)


• heavily addicted to Wuthering Heights even if its not an Agatha Christies novel


• whole days spent online 

Bis bald!

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Uhell

16/05/07

Lifes destroying myself alternating happiness and sadness, while a week ago I was happy now I’m weeping bitter tears thinking on the cruelty of my own destiny. If I really long for something I’ll never get it at the end, all my certainities (few to be honest) turned into possibilities and I’ve not an aim in my life anymore and having one is fundamental for me. I feel  a wretched but who cares? and complaining it’s not the better things to do in this moment so I suppose I’ll have to accept things as they are smiling but wishing to cry.
Life mocks at me, my destiny’s worse than I imagined some years ago but I’ve to live counting only on my own forces since others aren’t so reliable and I should find things inside me to have the strenght to go on since outside of me is an endless disappointment.

17/05/07

I hate the fact people seem unable to understand the most of things, if I tell him "I dont wanna host that shit if therere too many people" I dont understand why he tells me I should do it anyway and he prefers to say that via sms and not with a phone call. I dont give a shit of them, I go there only once a week and in a particular day. If he changes my usual day and I dont wanna go for various reasons, he could replace me instead going out with his stupid friends. I dont wann be the only one sacrificing herfself fo having 14 € more in her wallet!

18/05/07

Everything is crumbling down but Im trying to find positive sides in this poor situation too, now Im glad even if I should cry since I was noticed by "Attention, fisherman on board" and he could be a good teacher for me to learn how to fish in the Rhine during my summer holiday (because Ill go to Germany, wont I HKP thats HunajaKissanPentu?). I have nothing more to say apart that Im gonna live the most relaxing weekend of all my all life sleeping 20 hours per day  (even if I had another plan for this weekend but its world wide known I cant have what I really long for so better to quit with desiring things).
Short update (17:46). I was even noticed by an electrician whos friend of the son of fishermans boss (complicated situation), he told me  "Pretty" or something like that only with the movement of his lips but not uttering any sound. Its good to collect customers before beginning your own job 

"My hate is built on grief, a lust for revenge to ease the guilt.
A condition of helplessness where youre suffering is my only cure"

JED, hjelp meg er du snill

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Under Isen

Im happy, really happy .
My lifes back at its climax and Id like to scream out how much Im glad to live again that crazyness stole my soul some months ago, its the only thing Im addicted to (apart nicotine and caffeine, of course) and having it back is wonderful!
This period has something magical in itself: me coming back to life after 2 months of depression, reading one of the greatest not thriller book Ill have ever read in my life (wow, I kicked ass in my prev life!), thinking about the near future with great happiness for the presence of some certainities I hadnt 10 days ago. Great time, a summer of self achievements about to come for me and I suppose a new Kiste could be born from this process  

"We embrace each other so intense
We walk through nocturnal landscape
And inhale this diabolic ambience"

powered by

JED

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HAT!

Im disappointed like hell, every thing I hoped in is fucked up, many sudden changes lately and Im suffering more than ever. Its not good for mental health to have suspicions and not certainities but Im a couple of things changed (things of an utmost importance, of couse) and Im suspecting a severe change in my daily life too losing everything I got. My hearts colder than ice, its temperature is about 0 K but I havent a certainity yet but I could get it soon. There were some things I really looked forward to and when it happens theres a great possibility (90%, lets say) I could never get what I want. It happened in the past and still happens now, not pleasant at all but its my stupid life and its hard to chanfe it. Even if I cant say to be sure of anything at the moment I feel everythings worse, maybe just in me but it sucks anyway.
I should begin not to give a lot of importance to people surrounding me just to avoid to be disappointed by them, unfortunately it seems quite impossible for my temper; at this point of life I dont know how much its my own fault or their one but if I were more detached from them all  Id be happier in my life for sure.
I dont believe in social relationships anymore, all the world is ruled by selfishness and prejudices; people exploit others just for a purpose: success, money, personal needs. Loves a beautiful concept but an utopia nowadays, friendships rare and the most (just not to say the whole) of mine is equal to shit. On a .txt dated 21/05/06 I wrote "Im always disposable for friends but theyre rarely for me" and "The most of my dreams, even if theyre bullshit, will remain just dreams since Im alone and Im strong enough to realize them by myself", these thoughts are more than true even an year later, nothing to be glad for!
Im more misanthropic than ever in my life, I feel wretched but not waiting for a saviour since I fed on bullshit for too much time in my life, now its time to quit with it and begin to think no-onell help me not to drown in my sea of despair!

"Destroy all dreams
illusions damned in fire!"

Vær min engel! J.E.D. 

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IISAAAAAAAAA

The greatest news of these days is I got the nice stuff my friend sent me and it was really cool, now theres a new lake here (yeah, a lake with fishes and lots of fishers coming here to fish just for sport, all clones of the one having the "Fisher on board"s sticker). Jarlesbyrd is a very pleasant song and the sixth track shows an amazing job of the aSs hehehe...
Apart all my bullshit about that packages content I must say Im really happy to find out that people dont give a fuck of my personal blog just because I use a foreign lang to write so Im allowed to use even more incomprehensible langs understandable only by 2 persons here (me and my Hunajakissanpentu, of course). Its an invite for all the others not belonging to the little group reading this (so the whole net population - 2 persons, woohoo...I studied many years for something!): Tunge se likainen kyrpä perseeseesi, if you havent a kyrpä you could use other devices as well...its not important for me, just do it.
Now its the time to tell you positive sides in sticking a jalapeno up your ass: first of all youd solve all your problems with constipation since youd shit something for sure (maybe blood or hemorrhoids, shitting in any case), you could feel the thrill just to have something hot in your ass. If the jalapeno gets lost in your game the real game begins, you could organize expeditions to rescue it and even create a sort of jalapenos RPG (where the hell is the jalapeno?), therere lots of way to enjoy its presence inside of you creating as many games as you like, youll have the freedom of choice.
At this point I know the most of those 3 people (me, my HKP and another guest) could begin to hate me for being so rude towards my little audience but I suppose its needed every now and then cause being always nice to people doesnt bring you to anything except pain [Im speaking of people not always nice to you, of course. If a persons nice is good to be nice too if not its unuseful to be like that], Im nice to friends and they pay me back taking advantages of me (dirty bastards) ignoring completely my feelings and words, no true friends after all.
But nothing to complain since I got what I longed for and Im happy like hell not giving a shit of whats wrong in my life (so my usual behaviour after all).
Waiting for the summer, I should study German since Ive almost forgotten everything about it but I confide in the fact Ive still time (even if Mays round the corner) then, if I wont be able to speak that language and even my travel mate fotgets it, were fucked up but itll be the same, the holidayll be pleasant and cool in any case.

"In restrospect I feel no anger,
just an urge for something higher"

JED

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I dritten

I dont trust anyone but me, my own life ruined me like that.
I havent any trust in other people, they caused me too many disappointments.
I read what I wrote 7 years ago and Ive found out how much Ive changed during these years thanx to many unpleasant experiences I had. Once I was a sweet girl who could feel something for people around her, now Im wild like hell and I use to hide my emotions and feelings just to protect me from the evil of this world, if I prove something its completely wrong and it has just pain and restlessness for me, like a sin even if its a positive feeling so its better to turn my heart into stone every now and then.
Then everything I dream to realize someday its destined just to be a dream for all my life, if I really desire to do something Ill never do it cause destinys against me and its ready to put many obstacles between me and my wanted goal. So its unuseful to plan anything since its all impossible to realize (and its wiser to prevent possible future disappointments).
If it happens I prove a feeling for a person I block everything just repeating me "That persons not a business of your, it already belongs to someone else and so its no good you prove something for it" and Im fucking true everytime (distressing, huh?). Life for me its just dreaming something Ill never realize cause Im not the right one, looking for something Ill never find...forever and ever.
But naturally no one is interested in knowing how I feel, this blog has the record for being the least visited website in the net (woah, Im proud of it) and I could even write about the greatest advantages you have sticking a jalapeno in your own ass, maybe Ill talk of it in the next post.
Ill go on looking for something/one able to shake my uneasiness away (but itll be a long and hard quest destined not to be successful)

"Moonlight shining in the sky
nothing more can stop my flight
Take my hand again, fly with me
thousand million miles away"

Klemm meg nå og da

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