Loneliness, thiss the word of today
Alone in my life, alone on the net, forgotten by friends, mocked by happiness itself.
Planning to change my life at whole cause its always the same: you give a lot not recieving anything back, all your efforts are unuseful since you think to be important for people around but youre not. So, whats the use of being gentle and nice with them? Better to be unpleasant and rude instead of trying always to help them with their problems.
I give gold and Im paid back with shit, maybe I was too disposable towards them all and they thought exploiting me couldnt cause any harm but now Im tired of this all and I wanna change this unfair path my life has taken cause I dont bear it anymore.
I propose to do many things for changing my life but itll be an hard affair since Im too good with others and changing ones own features is really hard.
But I cant bear to be considered the last while I theyre the firsts, maybe I should only change company but its not so easy for me cause people dont like me a lot.
Alone against the world, an epic fight with only one loser that itll be me (yeah, I already know I cant win but luckily Im used to lose in everything).
Fed up of the most of things, if life hates me why should I love it?
Caught in a web every now and then, thiss the meaning of my life...fearing spiders and being always caught in their webs with no possibility to fly away. Goddam, I havent wings!
08/03/07 21:30
Huge rage, violence in my veins...Id need to destroy something to calm myself down. Ignored by the world, trodden by everyone (especially friends, of course), disappointed by life. I dont want to survive in these conditions, better to close any curtain on my life but the best (and more painful) suicides method is living and so Ill go on suffering infinite pains and crying all my tears out to fill the sea, I DONT WANT TO LIVE THAT WAY, I DONT WANT TO LIVE THAT WAY, I DONT WANT TO LIVE THAT WAY, I DONT WANT TO LIVE THAT WAY! (and thiss a quotation, just guess whos the original author)
10/03/07 10:30
Worried, really worried...my hearts bleeding...
Remembering all recent words I told you, trying to find out what Ive mistaken in them, thinking and suffering at the same time but I dont wanna read that log...better to suffer with memories. Last time we talked I was a bit angry, but not with you...angry with the whole world since it seemed to ignore me. Now that everything seems solved (at least in my mind) Im only missing u a lot. Missing u cause I dont know what ur doing and where ur, I could send u an sms but I fear your reply (or your no reply), I fear you could tell me I was an asshole and you dont wanna be my Hunajakissanpentu anymore and my accounts were deliberately deleted from your IMs. I fear it a lot cause youre important for me, Im relly fond of you (and maybe too anxious in certain moments) and its strange not having talked with since Wednesday (more than 2 days...an eternity for me).
Maybe its all ok between us, nothing changed and its only something Im fancying...maybe when you read these words Im writing youll laugh realizing how stupid a person can be but its what I feel at the moment. Worried like hell, worried to have ruined something good again, worried not to be able to meet you anymore since lifes strange and when you really want something its very probable you could never get it.
Youre really important for me, if you werent I would never tell you things Ive told you and I did it not for the big distance between us but cause I think youre one of the sweetest and truest person Ive ever met in my fucking life. Id have millions things to say but better to stop here cause I dont wanna be annoying nor melodramatic...Im missing you like lungs miss oxygen, I hope its enough to figure out my present condition.
I MISS YOU!
"Here I stand all alone
Have my mind turned to stone
Have my heart filled up with ice
To avoid its breaking twice"
are u still mocking at me, arent u?
Være den mitt venn 
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